Vulnerability Sucks

A friend said today, "vulnerability sucks
but......  it's good."

And then I read
"lean into pain,
embrace sorrow to
learn the lessons 
she has to teach."

blech.

So
I open my heart.

now what do I do with
this bleeding mess?

oh right.
embrace the pain,
the sorrow,
learn the lessons 
she has to teach.

[insert curses here]

vulnerability sucks
but......  it's good.
at least on paper.

"so.

please know.

wherever your wounds are,

there stands the Savior.

and without sorrow,

i would not be kind and tender,

but blind and empty and insensitive."  - ann kiemel, someone much wiser than I

So many reasons there were to
hide -
out in the open.
Smile for the camera honey,
and sometimes it reached my eyes.

Some of the reasons are gone now
most if truth be told
but not the scars
what do I do about the damn scars?

So I still hide -
out in the open.

Today

I hurt.
Do you see me?
Do you care?
Can you bear the weight of my story?

But I look to Jesus,
The Author and Perfecter 
Of my faith,
Who, for the joy set before him,
Endured the cross
Scorning its shame
And sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.